I’m of the opinion that all artists, in all fields, struggle with discouragement— it’s the distance between our aspirations and our performance. I don’t know how closely Kirk Douglas’ portrayal of Van Gogh matched Vincent, the man; I haven’t studied his life that closely. In "Lust for Life," I see a man who fought to match, with the oils on his canvas, the images in his brain— to capture sunlight on a field of wheat or in a patch of irises and create that wonder on canvas. He continually failed to meet his expectations. He continually failed in his career as an artist. He died of despair. I’ve never been there, but I’ve been close enough to see it in the distance.

Why assume that pursuing your dream is without difficulty, challenge and heartbreak? The suffering is a part of the process of fulfilling the dream, which from God’s perspective encompasses both your ideas and His.
He gives you a dream that is a shadow of His and then he slowly works out both dreams in you. It is a mysterious process, but all art is.

Pete Luedemann

   I’ve chosen "illustration" as a career path, rather than "Fine Art". I’ve chosen commercial art because I want to earn a living from my talents. Twenty-six years ago, I could have chosen to continue working as a carpenter/ cabinetmaker; at the time, I had more mouths to feed than my own and I didn’t know how to succeed financially as a carpenter. Eleven years ago my doctors told me I needed to something other than working for the Bureau of Buildings. I decided it was time to finally pursure illustration as a career.
    I recently chaperoned a ‘high-school lock-in’. During a card game/ice-breaker, we were asked, "what would your dream job be?" I fortunately didn’t have to answer that I already have my ‘dream job’— it just isn’t quite what I imagined it would be.
   For the last 11 years I've earned a living as a Building Code Consultant/Illustrator; in reality, I use every Building Code project as an opportunity to work as an illustrator. To a degree, I 'collaborate' with myself-- doing research and technical writing as a "Consultant", and then handing the project over to my in-house "Illustrator" to help the final product easier to understand through images.
   At this stage of my life, I still need to earn an income, but my livelihood is less dependent upon my skills than in the past. I recently turned down an illustration project because the schedule was too tight— I had ‘the same project’ a couple of years ago, and it was a disaster. I am less willing to crank out illustrations; I want them to have significance. I want them to have lasting value.

   I spend a lot of time wondering why this illustration career isn’t turning out as I imagined it. Illustration Promotion venues want to feature my work; illustration buyers don’t appear to have the same idea. The economy has a significant impact; and public tastes have changed.
   Twenty years ago, when I decided it was time to start pursuing a career as a childrens book illustrator, I started collecting images of work that I wanted to emulate. I recently received a Canadian image-promotion magazine, and discovered that most of the photographers had Photoshopped their images to make them look more like drawings/paintings; and the illustrators' work tended to look like cartoons. I’ve caught up with the images I wanted to make 20 years ago; and the parade of taste has changed course.